but everythingmeans nothing.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Yan Rong, Celeste and Lindy came over to my house and ton yesterday~ Cool~ It's been a long time we really play and talk together.. LOlz.. Played Cluedo and Monopoly! It was really so much fun and laughter.. I don't knowe why I will feel so much relaxed when I am with them.. is like they won't remind me of school work and stuff! LOlz.. Oh Yan, Yan Rong told me smthing today.. Hahz.. feel happy for her.. and next time we will be going to shop for some stuff~ Can't wait! Juz now on my way home.. I saw my neighbour.. is like the daughter and father washing their car.. so sweet .. How I wish that my dad and I would be that close.. I kinda miz the times when he held my hands and carried me in his arms.. pampering me with lots of toys~ I rememebered there was once when I was young, my dad was angry with my brother and was not in a good mood and I somehow wanted to play with him.. he scolded me and boy I was so hurt, I tot my dad son't love me anymore. Yea.. My dad dotes me.. seeing that he even bought a car for me.. but as time flies, is like he went overseas more often and I don't really get to see or really have a nice chat with him at home. Even we chat, we also tok about cars.. To me, my dad is always wonderful, no matter what he does. For my whole life, I've only seen my dad cried once.. which was when I disobeyed him and I felt really terrible and that was when I realised that he truely loves and dote me. At times when he was sitting at the couch alone.. I really wish to tok to him.. but I lack of the courage.. I don't know what stopped me.. and I always look at him from afar.. I guess it's been a long time we are really that close.. Anyway.. I really wish I could juz hug him and kiss him one more time and say :" I love you Dad, you are wonderful".
if i ain't got you|12:37 PM|
Saturday, February 28, 2004
I slept at about 11.30pm last night... hahahazzz.. I actualyl slept before 12! Amazing.. LOlz.. Anyway today embarks the first day of my term break! Yu HOo! MAybe gonna slack until tomorrow I guess.. but when I had the sudden tot of the incoming projects, tests and assignments.. Lolz.. this might not be a holiday period for me afterall.. Ha! Anyway, I juz had my guitar lesson.. tried playing Shakespeare In Love.. not bad~ Lolz.. I am saying the song is NOT BAD. Yesterday Celeste actually tried to message Ernest to ask for my 8855 Nokia Phone.. and he was like trying to make things difficult for Celeste. I know he would do that.. he always wanna revenge revenge revenge.. and only this will make his own life MORE miserable. He doesn't cause hurt to others but only himself.. such a pity. After yesterday's incident, he will only prove to others that he is such an immature 21 year old kid. Enough of saying, if I continue.. it will be a one long blog.. LAter I will be picking up my sister and my cousin from their school.. Hope I won't get lost.. SheesH~ LOlz.. then I will be meeting Yan Rong at SSDC about 2.30om.. rot in my hse for about 2 hours and off she goes for another lesson, at the same time Lindy and Celeste will be coming to my hse too.. and around in the night.. We will meet Darling and go out for dinner.. Yapz.. I think that's the plan for today.. So FAr.. =)
if i ain't got you|10:29 AM|
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I've just eaten my second round of dinner.. why arh?? Coz I ate with Darling juz now.. at NYP's MCDonald's.. LOlz.. Eat too muhc already! I was pretty fed up and vexed today.. coz of the assignments I have to hand in tomorrow.. Luckily most of it are done and I do hope that we do not need to stay back tomorrow and finish up.. Tomorrow will be the last day of school and I will be having my term break...cOoLZ~ Anyway.. I almost blew my top today.. ermm.. I think.. Luckily Darling was there.. The moment I was in his arms.. I juz feel so calm.. my "heat" within me juz shimmered down.. Thanks Darling~ Finally I told Darling wads in my tots for the past few days.. The tots has been distubing me.. and I feel so distracted. He asked me not to dwell on my past anymore.. and I told him that I have tried.. but it juz keep popping out of my head.. The more I think of it.. The more angry I am. I hate myself so much.. Hate myself for being so foolish and stupid in the past. Darling and I toked about our first love and we had the same encounter.. both suxz to a certain extend. Hahaz.. We were like complaining this and that.. Hahazz.. and we could hardly find fond memories from our first love.. Hahaz.. then I told him,"God wanna put 2 pitiful souls together, that's why we are together." Lolz.. we're not that bad right? Juz that our "ex-partners" don't treasure us. =P Finally, God answered my prayers after so many years.. I've finally found someone who appreciates me as much as I appreciate him. Yea! Haiz.. pimples popping out already.. Ugly Ugly~~
Oh yah.. today I happen to see one of my ssenior.. named "Jacky".. he is Ernest's buddy.. We crossed each other's paths.. Well.. I guess Ernest will soon knows that I am already attached.. or rather.. he already knows.. and maybe he might label me as a "bitch"? I don't know and I am not going to care, I juz wanna fight my own happiness and I am happy the way I am now.
if i ain't got you|11:17 PM|
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
YuHoo~~ Haiz.. finally finished my part of the assignment.. Tomorrow going thru with my project team mates and see if there's anything left out.. Hahaz.. school ended early today. like about 10? Some of us stayed back to do some project stuff~ Darling and I stayed back until one.. and suddenly had the urge to go and take photo-cards.. Went to Annex again and tried out a new Machines Venus.. Not bad~~ Can have 2 different photo cards~ These are the 2 cards:
oOpz.. abit too big arhz.. but nvm bah~~ Lolz.. Had a fun time meddling the machine anyway.. Hahaz.. we walked around Taka and Far East.. and both of us are pretty exhausted and that's why we head home early today.. Hahahz.. took a nap then. Bahz.. tomorrow early class again.. sianz~~ Lolz.. but good in a way coz I can see my Darling!! Lolz!
if i ain't got you|11:01 PM|
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Sianz.. I feel that I am slacking behind.. seriously! Although I still study for my tests, but I don't give a shit about my projects. I dunoe why~ Maybe becoz I am used to be stressed about it last time.. and I am so used to it.. and I feel so tired to keep thinking stuff which I shouldn't. I juz feel so empty.. is like I am not schooling at all.. but holidaying and when assignments come.. I juz do.. do wadever I am required.. not worrying about anything.. Even when I am outside.. I juz dun think about studies which I usually do.. Is it becoz I have learnt to let go and take things easily? I dunnoe.. I dun feel comfortable with my style now.. I am juz not used to it.. Maybe after the break.. I will really buck up and stuff.. tests and projects will be coming~Maybe.. Maybe I won't be in the top 5% anymore.. this time it might be for real.. I dunnoe why I wanna aim for so high~ I have no ambitions or anything. I only have short terms goals.. Haiz.. maybe this is the so called "happy-go-lucky" life.. Dunnoe lahz.. the higher I go.. the harder I will fall..
if i ain't got you|10:35 PM|
School was pretty dry today.. had my Mobile Applications presentation.. it didn't go so well.. but I am not going to think about it anyway.. it's over and done with. Hahaz.. the best part was after school.. Darling got 2 free movie tickets --> "Honey". Yapz.. The title makes ppl think that the show is boring but ironically, the show is great! You all should catch it! Especially when U can appreciate Hip-Hop~ Even I don't really appreciate such stuff but I still enjoy it though.. Hehez.. After movie.. Darling and I went out for a walk.. the breeze was colling and nice.. Sky was clear too~ Didn't see much stars but still the feeling is wonderful! Lolz.. at night.. I asked my mother to take me home from YCK MRT and so my mother asked me something. "Hey, you and ur boyfriend wear the same shirt today ar?" Lolz.. I was kinda embarrassed~ But then I told her it's like a school T-Shirt.. so nothing special.. Lolz.. and she tots Darling name is Dick! Lolz!! I wanna laugh out loud.. but of coz I corrected her arhz.. Lolz.. Well.. HAhaz.. is like I can finally speak Darling's name in front of my mother.. coz in the past I don't dare to mention Ernest's name in front of her. Also.. hmm.. today Benji set me into thinking.. when I was like eating with my poly friends in the afternoon, Darling went to eat with other guy friends and left me, Benji, Melissa, Doreen and Max together. And Benji said I am extra.. ask me to go back to Darling~ I was feeling abit sad.. is like issit in the eyes of my friends.. I only have Darling in my life? I need friends too alright? I duno wads wrong.. I know that my friendship with Benji is not that good anymore~ And I also know that I cannot have the best of both worlds.. I am trying hard not to neglect my friends.. Benji.. a word for u.. although U might say that u are kidding but I won't take it as a joke.. coz I really value this friendship and it hurts me when u say those things..I know u are not feeling comfortable when u are with me and Derrick, that's why I didn't blame you for behaving this way. I will still be there for u whenever u need me~ Hope things will change for the better. yea? =)
if i ain't got you|12:41 AM|
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Something happened today.. and it kinda affected me abit.. but I promised Darling that I will not think about it.. so I juz try to let it go... Thanks Darling.. thanks for loving me so much although it ain't worth it. I always do believe that U deserve better. I went to Darling's house today.. did the XML Practical.. hahah.. dunnoe whether correct anot~ Darling also helped me to burn some mp3s for my computer. Thanks again! At about noon time, I drove us to Marina Square.. and I told Darling that I've always wanted to dine at Breeks and he said we could go there for dinner! I was so happy~ Dinner started at 6.. so as it was kinda early.. Darling and I went to Suntec and walk walk.. went to a few shops and we stopped by at ESprite.. hehehezz.. was on sale! He saw a sweater which he kinda like it and I asked him to try on.. and darn it.. he looks great in it!! Hehez... When he was about to pay for it.. I offered to give him as a gift. He was surprised and I took a pretty long time to persuade him to let me pay and allow me to give this sweater to him. Hahaz... he was very embarrassed.. should have seen his face! So cute~ Oh yah.. also.. Darling and I went to the fountain in Suntec.. can make a silent wish there.. walk 3 rounds around the fountain and place ur right hand in the water at the same time. Hheez.. Darling and I tried that for the first time.. and we made our wishes... The feeling was good. =) Finally the clock struck 6.. haha.. we entered into Breeks and the service is good there... the service crew are all very friendly and never fail to smile~ The food there is wonderful too!! Hehez.. Darling and I practically ate all kinds of food there! We cracked lotsa jokes and tok crap! Hahz.. never ending one.. Oh yah.. I forgot to mention something~ I saw one of my school mate there.. Jing Quan. He saw that I wasn't with Ernest anymore.. and know I am with Darling.. Well.. I kinda forsee that alot of ppl will know after that~ Coz he is like like a "loud-speaker".. Lolz~ Well.. anyway.. it doesn't matter.. coz I am not in the wrong or anything.. I only got attached after I broke up with Ernest. =bAh!= Don't wanna tok about it anymore.. it's all over! Hahaz.. Term break is reaching.. Happy Happy!! Lastly.. I would like to say smthing to Darling:
Darling, I love you with all my heart. And I will cherish you~ forever and more! Muackz!
if i ain't got you|11:52 PM|
Took a test. Is this really me?
You're an INFP
INFP
You focus deeply on your values and devote your life to chasing ideals... you often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. You're creative and seek new ideas and possibilities. You quietly push for what's important to you, and rarely give up. You might be somewhat gentle or have a good sense of humor, you could be hard to get to know and overlooked by others...you like to make the world more in line with your vision of perfection.
If you're a teenager, you probably have a bit of a rebellious streak. You might argue with others who hold different values than yourself..you probably have a small close-knit group of friends...you can relax around these pals and be pretty entertaining, since you see the world in a different and special way... that's why your posts on the Storm Palace are so great!
Inner harmony is the most important thing to you. You're sensitive and loyal. You have a strong sense of honor concerning your personal values. You'd rather communicate your feelings in writing...
You do best in a flexible situation where the teacher/collegue takes a personal interest in you...you like to interact with your peers, but not TOO much ...you have both creativity and flexibility, and you like that about yourself....you don't get bogged down by details...your job must be fun and it must be meaningful to you....you don't wanna feel conspicuous so you'll sell yourself short just to avoid the spotlight...
You can be a gentle and subtle leader...being indirect and inclusive of others...you don't confront people head-on, but rather work with 'em to get the job done....you lead with your values in mind and let these guide you...you don't like conflict, so you don't confront situations directly.. you'd rather wait for a situation to work itself out....
Leisure and kickin' back is really important to you. sometimes it is hard to separate work from play, huh? when you find a new recreational pursuit, you do a lot of reading up on it...most of your leisure things are done alone, like reading, listening to music, and even BBSing....when you want to be sociable, you can be very charming and outgoing..
Love is a very deep commitment to you...it's not easily attained...you probably pick out flaws or are disappointed when he or she doesn't match up to your ideal as to what love should be like...first dates are very well set up to make sure everything is taken care of so it can be "just right." you might have a hard time sharing feelings about others...you tell so many feelings inside that you forget to tell your partner that you love 'em or whatever....
If the relationship goes bad, you take it to heart, but probably don't tell many others about it....you have a tendency to overreact, huh? Other things to watch for...don't get so caught up in your dreams that you don't consider others' points-of-view...you might not adjust your vision to the facts of a situation...you may need a "reality check" once in a while... also, don't try to please everyone and be so hesitant to criticize... don't delay projects 'cause you're holding out for perfection...it's not gonna come...don't get overly critical because no one matches your perfect ideals... you could lash out and it could get ugly.
INFP: "I Never Find Perfection"
Try This
if i ain't got you|9:37 PM|
Saturday, February 21, 2004
I've been reading my history posts~ and I start to feel alittle emotional. Now I truly realise why some of my friends said why am I leading such a sad life.. It's so difficult for me to find a "happy" post.. almost every post had a tinge of sadness, or rather I try not to post anything sad.. which is neutral~ Now it's like a whole new me.. Now I do not have to try and post up something happy.. coz in actual fact, I am living in bliss now!(Thanks again Darling~) Yapz.. Finally, I know wad is true happiness and I never felt this way for a very long time. I sleep with a smile and wake up with a smile now. School is not boring for me anymore. Weekends are even more meaningful. Also.. I dunnoe why.. this semester.. I feel so much more relaxed.. I don't worry about assignments and such anymore.. I juz do wadever I can do.. Life is short! So enjoy!! I am trying to live in an optimistic way of life! Cheerios to all who are in the same path as me.. or at least try!
*Wanted to type more.. but no inspiration.. somemore very tired.. heheezzz. Nightz everyone!
if i ain't got you|1:56 PM|
Yea!! Darling and the guys won the first soccer match! 4-0. Yea! Feeling happy for them.. Didn't know my classmates can play so well~ Lolz.. I dun really know what kind of competition is this.. from a club I heard.. but not so sure about the details~ Hehez.. Darling gave me a morning call at 0830.. to prepare for my guitar lesson.. maybe can juz practise a few chords before my instructor comes.. Coz I didn't touch my guitar for the whole of 2 weeks! Feeling kinda guilty ar... Hahaz.. but then I sounded so sleepy and Darling asked me to laze in bed for about few mintues.. then it reaches 0900. My guitar instructor called and said that he will be arriving soon.. I got out of bed and prepare lo.. But still I didn't touch my guitar.. wahahaha~~~ then when he finally comes.. everything went smoothly.. hahaz.. luckily some of my skills are still "there".. so it's okie.. he said I was doing fine.. *pHeW! Later Ben, Darling and Wei Long coming oevr to my hse and do our Mobile Applications assignment.. Hahhazz.. Due on Monday.. cannot slack liao~~ *scratches` still dunnoe how to do.. Die la!!
if i ain't got you|10:52 AM|
Friday, February 20, 2004
Hehehzzz.. finally.. settled down to blog. Well, watched Along Came Polly today.. it was nice.. comedy plus romance.. Hehez.. find that some phrases in the movie is like so darn meaningful and it happen to hit me and Darling at the same time. =) After the movie, Darling and I went to Carrefour.. hahaz.. walked around and tok alot of crap arh.. LOlz.. then after that I went to Baker's Inn and bought some cakes for Darling and his family.. then it happens so that I forgot to buy for myself.. ahhaaz.. Should have bought some~ Haiz.. I kinda miz those cakes though. Had a wonderful time with Darling today! Yapz! Oh yah.. juz now when we bought some beverages in Carrefour.. a brand new packet of sweets juz dropped on the floor and it's like we already paid for our stuff.. Hahaz.. I think my bag juz happen to "drag" the sweets out from Carrefour.. Hehez.. damn funny and weird. So I kept the sweets, for free of coz! Hahahazz. On the way home.. I asked Darling to promise me smthing, but it happens so that it kinda upsets him. I am so sorry Darling, I didn't mean to hurt u. And Darling, you know why I said those things right? =No one can replace you in my heart=
if i ain't got you|11:58 PM|
Today was quit a long day for me.. ended my class at 6. After that went to South Canteen and eat~ Then went library with Darling to study. There's another test for me tomorrow~ The format was kinda simple.. Juz true/ false questions and multiple choice.. 30 minutes paper~ Haiz.. then now like still halfway halfway~~ never really study lo. This time sure die man! Hahahzzz!! Yea!! Tomorrow is finally Friday!! I am so so so happy~~ Time for relaxing! Darling promise me to watch Along Comes Polly tomorrow~~ Hehez.. first time watching movie with him. Ya know.. known him for so long.. never watch movie alone with him before.. I only rememeber watching Lilo and Stitch and Scary Movie 3 with him and a gang of friends.. neither times sat beside him~ Hehez.. it will be a whole new experience!! Hehehzz!! Aiyoh~ U muz be thinking that why am I going "ga-ga" over this small thing.. but then.. first time in everything is always anticipating! These few says keep staying back in school to study.. my mother also never say anything.. hehehezzz.. Next week I think I need to stay back quite a number of times too.. coz of assignments~. I hope my mother won't think that I go "dating" in school~ Hehez..
if i ain't got you|12:41 AM|
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
I tried to take a nap.. but then the phone kept ringing. And talking about having 2 phones in my room~ Maybe one day I am going to juz plug out the phone wire in my room.. some day.. Anyway I dun use the phone much.. JUz when I feel that I am the most fortunate girl on Earth.. Something happened.. I dunnoe wad will happen next coz it is not up to my control at all. I do hope that everything will go well.. Admit when u are in the mistake, apologize sincerely and if u were given the 2nd chance.. please treausre it.. coz a chance is hard to come by~ Life is short.. so please treausre the ones around you.. Knowing a person in ur life is fate and there muz be a purpose~ So.. Ya.. I dunnoe wad am I toking about ah.. depression mode man.. Maybe becoz I am too exhausted.. hasn't been slping well.. another thing is the weather~ Sianz~~~
Watched Darling kicked soccer today.. haha.. first time I am doing that.. is like the whole hockey court are guys.. and I am the only girl there.. Hahaz.. coOlz~ Wei.. not watching guys over there ar, I am more interested in my XML book and Darling.. but it's such a pity that he played kinda far away.. Read only one chapter of XML.. I almost slept although the weather is so damn hot and I am wearing a dark long sleeve shirt?
Darling muz be real tired... still in "La-La" land.. hehehezz.. sweet dreams my dear.
if i ain't got you|11:39 PM|
So exhausted... so tired... argHz~~ Was dragging my feet when I was walking home~ I need to have a short nap.. serious.
if i ain't got you|8:05 PM|
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Well well.. I am finally 19!! Yea! Didn't really celebrate today coz we will be having a test tomorrow and there's lots to study. My darling actually made an effort to accompany me for the whole day. After school, my darling and I went to Bishan and eat Sake Sushi again~~ Hhahahaz.. our favourite hang out~ Then after that went back to my house and study for the test together. Darling ate dinner at my hse again.. Hahaz.. I wonder what my mum will say~ Juz now my mother ask lotsa things about him.. And I made a point that he treats me very well~ Also, she seems to be satisfied about his family background and such. I also told my mother that it's so hard to find a good guy.. and she agreed! Hahaz.. She approves! Yea!! But of coz lahz.. she ask me not to "luan luan lai".. Hahahazzz!! =P. Die ah... tomorrow busy day again.. SiAnzzz~~~ Hope that my test will go well..
Oh yah.. special thanks to all my friends who got me presents!! Thanks for remembering my birthday!!! Thanks Grandma and Mother for giving me $$$, thanks Dad, Auntie and Cousin for rememebring my birthday too!!! And also to all my other friends who messaged me!!! And darling~~ Thanks for the 2 slices of cakes~ It's delicious!
Hehehaa.. Darling did another sweet thing for me.. exactly at 12 a.m today.. he messaged me on the phone.. even though we are chatting on MSN~ Not only that.. he also called me and sang "Happy Birthday" song for me~ Hehhezzz.. No one has ever done that before. Abit embarrassed though~ His birthday ar.. muz crack my brain already~~ Muz think of more surprises.. Hehehzz.. luckily it's in September. =)
if i ain't got you|9:58 PM|
Monday, February 16, 2004
Well stayed back in school until library closed.. to study of coz.. Juz a punishment for me and Darling coz we didn't really study yesterday.. Luckily we manage to study some of the chapters though. Had a long day today.. and I need to submit 1 assignment this week.. and 2 assignments next week, follow by 2 tests this week.. ArGhz!! Tomorrow is my birthday, I don't know how am I going to celebrate.. it's juz that I have too many things to do and think about.. and my birthday doesn't seem to be a "special" day for me. When I came home, my mother asked me wad about tomorrow.. Hahaz.. she wanna buy a cake for me~ How sweet right? Although I was not really enthu about my birthday, my Darling actually made an effort to "remind" me that actually it is a special day. Thanks Dear~ He made breakfast for me this morning~~ haha.. suppoingly is my turn to make, but then I drove him to school today, so is on "par".. hahahazzz~ Then he also did another sweet thing. He specially burn a disc for me.. with most of my favourite songs in it. He knew that I don't really listen to any songs except the songs played over the radio in my car. Yapz.. although these might seems nothing to u all, but these sweet little gestures from Darling means alot alot to me! Coz I didn't really get these kind of treatments in the past. Maybe I did.. but it was a long long time ago. I feel so loved now. =)
if i ain't got you|10:06 PM|
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Hahhaz.. suppose to study today ar.. and becoz of some ppl ah~~ my plan was foiled!! wahahaha!!! kiddingz! Anyway, I had a great time today! Thanks guys! I met Celeste, Yan Rong, Lindy and Frederick today~ Went to have lunch at Brown Box, and of coz, with Darling accompanying me~ I am pretty glad that he can mix with them quite well.. maybe it's becoz all of us are good "crappers"! hahahazzz.. Celeste suggested to play Mahjong at my hse~ so Okie lo.. studies one side! Hahahazz... played a few rounds lo~ Yapz. I forgot to mention smthing.. my Darling actually gave me an early birthday present.. hehe.. A set of couple rings, engraved our each other's names. I am happy enough!! Alright.. now I am going to say how I spend my Valentine's Day yesterday.. My darling came to my house and pick me up about 11.15. We exchanged presents and boy.. I was really surprised.. then he asked that "golden" question.. hehez.. and I've agreed. He is juz too wonderful~ He gave a rose to my Mother, hand-made roses to Grace and my sis~ Hhehezzz.. yapz! Then we set off to Heeren~ took a card print and ate at Sakae Sushi~ He is so creative ya know.. he used the japanese rice, watermelon, shredded cucumber and fried scallop to make a "LOVE" word.. hahahzzz. We walked a few more rounds and got our couple rings. =) Then we went all the way down to East Coast PArk.. coz one of my good friend held his birthday party there~ Hahaz.. but then.. Darling and I spent most of the time sitttng at the rocks.. looking at the wonderful stars~ The feeling was so wonderful~~ It seems to be forever. Thanks darling~ I will never forget the beautiful moments we had together yesterday~. We started leaving the place at 10pm.. coz we planning to get home by Bus 13. Darling sent me home, hand in hand, stars above us~ I feel that I am in heaven. This is the best Valentine's Day ever~ Darling, love can be so wonderful with U. =)
A Song for U Darling~:
Come What May
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Chorus:
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Chorus
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Chorus
if i ain't got you|11:19 PM|
Morning everyone! Why am I up so early? Hehehz.. actually not that early anymore.. I will be having lunchwith my bItChes later.. supposingly to celebrate my birthday earlier~~ Hehheezz. And I will be bringing Darling along, hope everything goes well. =) But before that, Darling will be coming to my house and do some tutorials first and after the lunch, we will start studying for our tests. Sianz ah~~ Next week have 2 tests.. haven't really start studying.. abit "kan jiong" now~ LOlz~~ actually I dunnoe why I take things so easily now. I think this is abit too slack ah? Hahaz.. but Daring and I promise each other that we have to help each other to do well this semester. So wish us luck k? *pSSt! My birthday is on 17th Feb le.. you know what to do ar.... Hahahahazzz
if i ain't got you|9:33 AM|
First and foremost I would like to say sorry pals... sorry for not blogging for a very very long time~~ Hehehzzz... well for a good start, I've changed my blogskin.. Yapz.. Hehez.. muz be wondering why? Yes, I am in love again. This one week plus, I am having the happiest moment in my life. Someone wonderful has stepped into my life and he is none other than Derrick Yee. I tot I would never dare to love again, but I was so so wrong. I tot I would condemn every other guys out there, but I was totally wrong again. Darling is juz like an Angel sent down from God above~ For my close friends, you all should know that I am very happy for this period of time~ and of coz, thanks friends for everything again!!! When Darling stepped into my life, it's juz like a fairytale, wonderful dreams are fulfilled and I seem to have this "happily ever after" smile whenever I am with him. I love to spend every moments with him~ Today is when we are offcially attached, 11.30 a.m.. hehee... will never forget this day. He gave me lotsa surprises and Darling, juz to let you know, I really feel that I am the most fortunate girl on Earth, thanks for everything! Today is juz a start~ there will be a long journey for the both of us! Also, I am pretty glad that my freinds are happy for me. And the best part was, my mother didn't object! Hehehehe.. she didn't really "lecture" me for being home so late and was kinda peeping into the presents that my Darling got for me.. didn't show her everything ar.. Later she jealous.. wahahhaha!!!! Anyway, I have lotsa things to type.. but it's juz that this happiness cannot be express in words easily.. it is felt thru heart~ I am practically SPEECHLESS! Hehhezzz....
Darling, thanks for being my guiding star and allow me to walk this journey with you. I Love You. I will cherish you with all my heart. Thanks for everything~ MuaCkZ!
if i ain't got you|12:50 AM|
Thursday, February 05, 2004
I juz had my project presentation~ IT SUX!! And I am not going to care.. I am going to take things easily!!! Form now on! Told you that I am going to change! And Yes!! This is another step of my life! I am going to change the way how I am going to see things. YES! And I can do it!! Cheerios to me!! Hehhez.. I'm nuts.
if i ain't got you|3:16 PM|
The whole night... I was filled with happiness and joy, a feeling I had never experience for a very long time. Thank you to someone out there! MuAcKz! Love Ya! (Stay tuned to know who is this "someone") Hehehzz.. =) I have a project presentation later.. 30%..so feeling a little nervous.. But I know my friends will support and help me.. Hehehzz.. It's a grp presentation and I am glad that the members in my grp are all my close friends, so I guess there will be no more free-loaders! Well... now waiting for time to pass~ And it's like I am anticipating to go to school everyday! Hhehehzzz.. I feel so blessed~~
if i ain't got you|8:55 AM|
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
So much for saying I wanna change my life yesterday and I almost immediately took a big step today~ I ended my 4 year relationship with him. Surprisingly I didn't shed any tears, maybe my tears have already gone dry for the past 4 years. I told myself I won't cry for this guy anymore and I have to be strong~ You can say I am cruel and selfish, but then, if I never end the relationship soon enough, things might get even worst for him and me. The whole reason was becoz, we see the word "love" in a different way. For him, I feel, he wants his gal to listen and follow wadever he says but for me, I don't like to be "tamed" and tied down. I have my own opinions too. Everything was cool and he said something which try to make me feel guilty. I was once deeply in love with him and if I am still the past Crystal, I would have felt hurt and guilt will overcome me. But now, nothing he says will change my mind, if I ever go back to him again out of guilt, the whole tradegy will repeat again. Yes, it might be my fault, I should have ended this relationship earlier, but I dragged on for so long~ I was too blinded then. Now I would like to take this opportunity to thank my friends.. who were there for me whenever I need help and supports wadever decision I make. U know who u are... I dun want to list names in case I leave anyone out. And so sorry for making them to get worried over me~ I closed all advices and I am pretty glad that I open to them juz in time. I would like to say thanks to Ernest.. for teaching me what is love and how to love. And of coz.. he will always be my first love~ No doubt there are beautiful memories, but memories are memories, the world is still turning and life still have to go on. Don't ask me or mention about him again~ I don't wanna rake up the past and I want life to continue for me. I was kinda feel sorry for him, his life and heart were filled with so much anger and hatred, he won't let go. He will never think that he is at fault and I know for sure, he is going to hate me for life. I am leading a new life now and I want to make full use of it. I believe someone out there will love me and protect me once again. Well.. Congrates me will you?
if i ain't got you|7:45 PM|
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Tired.. tired and tired... I have been playing for the whole weekend and it's still not enough.. It's still honeymoon period for me~ Lotsa thoughts filled my mind.. Few years back.. I thought I was the most fortunate girl on Earth. Lovely boyfriend, perfect family, true friends, good results etc.. but now.. my perception had changed.. I was too blinded by many things.. Too many.. I've seen the real world.. My real world.. Welcome Crystal~ Welcome to the world of lies and selfishness.. Welcome to the world of deceit~ Welcome to the world of sadness~ Lolz... Some ppl are juz so lucky.. I don't deny that I am somewhat lucky.. but.. I hope things will go better. I want to change my life.. I want to change my life for this world. Can I?
if i ain't got you|7:38 PM|
Monday, February 02, 2004
I had a pretty long day yesterday.. I was awakened by a call from Cheng Kwee.. about 7 plus.. He called juz to ask me what time am I going to his hse for visiting! I was like -_-' hahahzzz... Then when I tried to sleep again.. my father asked us to wake up for breakfast.. and u know wad.. I went!! HAHahzz.. not like me~ Anyway.. before I eat anything... I went to the loo once.. stomach upset.. then when I went to eat my breakfast.. I don't feel so good.. so I ate only a little.. and when I reached home.. I went to the loo one more time.. Then after which, I went to Cheng Kwee's hse.. stayed only for about an hour? Then I left for Meli's hse.. Initially I couldn't go to Meli's hse becoz I have to settle some car matters.. but everything came at the last minute.. so I insisted to my Dad that I will go down and sign the documents tomorrow.. which is today and I've juz reached home. =) Went Meli's hse to eat laksa prepared by her Mom.. it was delicious~ Lolz.. After that I went to Yan Rong's house and picked her up.. waiting for the rest of the gang to reach my hse.. We played mahjong almost the whole day~ and some left at 2 a.m.. hahahaha.. Then the irritating fact was.. they purposely forgot my birthday.. keep asking me when is it.. I really felt sad ya know.. Hmm.. Those are wad U call assholes! Lolz.. Slept at about 3.40 a.m~ Woke up pretty early this morning.. Supposed to have my guitar lesson at 9.. then my instructor messaged me and said he would be here by 9.45a.m.. but then he didn't appear again.. So I called him.. and he said he was about to come out.. Coz I need to go out.. I told him to postphoned it.. And upon hearing his voice.. I knew he was not feeling well.. and to me.. seemed like he had cried pretty hard.. or issit the flu.. I have no idea at all.. I am starting to get worried.. but then I didn't probe much.. I juz asked him to take care and if he is feeling better then contact me again.. He was apologetic.. and quite like the idea I've proposed.. and said a thanks to me.. I feel that something terrible had happen.. I dunnoe why.. it's juz not him..
In a few omoments.. I will be going to Derrick's hse to do project.. Feeling very tired and sleepy now. -_-
if i ain't got you|10:13 AM|
